This is tomorrow’s QT but when I saw the title of it, I couldn’t help but read and meditate on it. God never fails to surprise me with His piercing Word. I feel like God is constantly speaking to me in my insecurities and uncertainties of the future. Whenever I doubt, whenever I feel like a failure placing all my trusts and hopes in my own future planning and worrying, God speaks into my life through my girlfriend, RUF (Reformed University Fellowship), and Daily QT.. 

God really helped me figure out the pattern of my life. It’s when I finally abandon all my thoughts and plans to the Lord, He allows the opportunity for me to have it. When i am praying solely to receive the blessings and the gifts that I want from Him, I feel like there is no peace in my heart but when I finally lay everything down before Him and ask to be led is when I feel like my heart is right with God. 

This is the QT from My Utmost for His Highest for April 29th. I hope it speaks to a lot of you who are uncertain and worried about your futures just like how it spoke to me. 

“It doth not yet appear what we shall be.” - I John 3:2

Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We imagine that we have to reach some end, but that is not the nature of spiritual life. The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty, consequently we do not make our nests anywhere. Common sense says - “Well, supposing I were in that condition…” We cannot suppose ourselves in any condition we have never been in.

Certainly is the mark of the common-sense life: gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. Immediately we abandon to God, and do the duty that lies nearest, He packs our life with surprises all the time. When we become advocates of a creed, something dies; we do not believe God, we only believe our belief about Him. Jesus said, “Except ye…become as little children.” Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He is going to do next. If we are only certain in our beliefs, we get dignified and severe and have the ban of finality about our views; but when we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy. 

“Believe also in Me,” said Jesus, not- “Believe certain things about Me.” Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but He will come. Remain loyal to Him. 

I was worried about my future and my soon-to-be long distance relationship with Jieun but God is really telling me to just abandon everything up to Him and just trust Him to lead my path and my relationship. God is taking away my doubt and my worries! Hallelujah~ Praise God from whom all blessings flow !!! :)