Why do I lack faith? Whenever I feel like I am in control of my life I realize that at the bottom of my heart there is fear. Fear that comes from trusting more in myself rather than trusting in God who is sovereign over everything. He holds the master plan for all of us but I have such a hard time believing in His ultimate authority. I have to lift up every area of my life. My future, my relationship with Jieun, my friendships, etc. I can’t try to make things happen because if it doesn’t go the way I want it, I would be so heart-broken and disappointed. I want to completely submit to the Lord like I tell everyone else to do. Why am I so future-oriented? Why do I worry so much about something that didn’t even happen yet? Considering possibilities of what may or may not even come through. Why can’t I just let go of my desire to be the captain of my ship.. I just pray that God would give me the grace to do His will…

and I am so thankful for Jieun. I think I have a better understanding of what it means to complement each other in a relationship. She has qualities that I need to learn and I have qualities that she lacks. I am so blessed that God allowed this relationship and we are trying to be prayerful and trusting. Praise God :)